this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
