Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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