Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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