i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
