Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
