Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize