Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
