just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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