You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
