How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
