Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
