so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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