I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
