I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
