after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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