im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize