After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
