So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
