she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
