What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
