This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
