Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish my penis had a tongue
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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