Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
