Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
