STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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