I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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