I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sorry about my life...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize