So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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