she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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