Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
