You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
