i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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