she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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