Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
