i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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