once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
