i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
