Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
