I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
