I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Randomize
