I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
