I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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