I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
COCAINE IS GR8
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
