Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
