I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
