You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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