Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
