I bet he comes in French.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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