all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
