A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
