bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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