Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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