Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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