I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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