My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
