Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
