I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i will never coherently bang her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have aggressive nipples.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
