He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize