she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What a dumb baby whore.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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