ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
