the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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