dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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